Concerning Competitions

The Lambeth Proposals for the Reunion of Christendom

Concerning Competitions written by Elsinore MacPherson

Saints and Sinners

From The Canadian Forum, October 1920, p. 16

"Devise, wit! Write, pen! for I am for whole volumes in folio."

Truly we are for whole volumes of competitions, but the editor has remained firm in his determination to give us two thousand words per issue and nothing more. And then, in answer to our appeal, he said, "You who are so eager, you may have one thousand words in which to sing the praise of competitions". What a hollow mockery is the gift of one thousand words in which to sing the praises of competitions! Have not competitions been the delight of the human race from time immemorial?

For the pleasure in a literary competition is two-fold. It is first of all in the sense of competition, which is a sense of greatly daring. And the pleasure is secondly in the joy of the writing itself. This pleasure Walter Pater has described, rememberably, with his air of languid sadness:

"Well! we are all condamnés, as Victor Hugo says: we are all under sentence of death but with a sort of indefinite reprieve — les hommes sont tous condamnés à mort avec des sursis indéfinis: we have an interval, and then our place knows us no more. Some spend this interval in listlessness, some in high passions, the wisest, at least among 'the children of this world', in art and song . . . For art comes to you proposing frankly to give nothing but the highest quality to your moments as they pass, and simply for those moments' sake."

So speaks Walter Pater of Art, but our subject is the Competitions' Page. How near our subject is to his, time alone will prove. A competitions' page, to have being and to have continuity, is compounded of various things, but chiefly of subjects and of competitors. Of subjects we have had many thoughts during the recent weeks, but, whatever may be said about subjects it is true that in the end they are merely a starting point, an inducement, a "pou sto" from which the competitor may move the world, a bait which shall bring the answers tumbling into the office, like the oysters to the Walrus and the Carpenter,

"And thick and fast they came at last

And more and more and more."

— at least, so we hope.

Now as regards competitors, there have come to our attention certain Needs of Competitors, which we will now proceed to set down.

Needs of Competitors.

1. A thoughtful friend.

2. A wasps' nest.

3. A green silk umbrella.

A Thoughtful Friend. Every competitor should be provided with a thoughtful friend who would bring the competitions' page to his notice at an auspicious moment. This is done in the interests of efficiency. If we spend scientific methods and analysis upon the production of efficient workmen, why not upon the production of efficient competitors? It can be done. For writers are of two types — writers of first thoughts and writers of second thoughts. The thoughtful friend must analyze the competitor and find out whether he be a writer of first thoughts or a writer of second thoughts. If he be a writer of first thoughts, the moment for presenting the competition need only be well chosen, and the thing is done. If he be a writer of second thoughts, the thoughtful friend must apply the second essential, a wasps' nest.

A Wasps' Nest. This is for the writer of second thoughts. It must be hung outside his bedroom window and occasionally carried into his study by the thoughtful friend. It must be judiciously applied, first to induce him to write, second to prevent him from re-writing too often, third to induce him to finish. If the thoughtful friend is sufficiently thoughtful, results should be prizes.

A Green Silk Umbrella. Every competitor should be supplied with a green silk umbrella so that he may lend it to the Editor of the Page. Green, for that colour is impervious to hints, threats, ragings, and storms of all kinds; silk, for silk is the sign of affluence and therefore of power; an umbrella, for an umbrella is a protection, and every editor is in need of protection.

But we have exceeded our thousand words. We are in need of immediate protection from the Press Editor. We hope every competitor will provide himself with the equipment which we have just suggested. Taking this for granted, we will borrow the green silk umbrella at once, and disappear behind it.

Elsinore MacPherson.