tongue, the liberal display of sentiment were as the breath of life to him: he was overwhelmingly insistent in the payment of drinks at the fountain, the bringer-home of packed ice-cream for Eliza, and of cigars to Gant and, as Gant gave publication to his generosity, the boy’s need for it increased—he built up an image of himself as the Good Fellow, witty, unselfish, laughed at but liked by all—as Big— Hearted Unselfish Luke. And this was the opinion people had of him.
Many times in the years that followed, when Eugene’s pockets were empty, Luke thrust a coin roughly and impatiently in them, but, hard as the younger boy’s need might be, there was always an awkward scene—painful, embarrassed protestations, a distressful confusion because Eugene, having accurately and intuitively gauged his brother’s hunger for gratitude and esteem, felt sharply that he was yielding up his independence to a bludgeoning desire.
He had never felt the slightest shame at Ben’s bounty: his enormously sensitized perception had told him long since that he might get the curse of annoyance, the cuff of anger, from his brother, but that past indulgences would not be brandished over him, and that even the thought of having bestowed gifts would give Ben inward shame. In this, he was like Ben: the thought of a gift he made, with its self-congratulatory implications, made him writhe.
Thus, before he was ten, Eugene’s brooding spirit was nettled in the complexity of truth and seeming. He could find no words, no answers to the puzzles that baffled and maddened him: he found himself loathing that which bore the stamp of virtue, sick with weariness and horror at what was considered noble. He was hurled, at eight years, against the torturing paradox of the ungenerous— generous, the selfish-unselfish, the noble-base, and unable to fathom or define those deep springs of desire in the human spirit that seek public gratification by virtuous pretension, he was made wretched by the conviction of his own sinfulness.
There was in him a savage honesty, which exercised an uncontrollable domination over him when his heart or head were deeply involved. Thus, at the funeral of some remote kinsman, or of some
