Domestic Discontent - letter

The Rise of Co-operation in Canada - Letter

Domestic Discontent - letter written by Author:House-Wife

The Canadian Forum/Trade and Industry/1920-12

December 1920, with response by Margaret Fairley

To the Editor of The Canadian Forum;
Sir:
The article on "Domestic Discontent" which appeared in the November number of The Canadian Forum I read with much interest, a little sympathy and some amusement. I don't wish to pose as one who has solved the domestic problem, but I do believe that "meaningless routine becomes a joyous rite" when we realize that the result of all our work is the making of a happy home and the bringing up of healthy, happy children. Making a home and bringing up a family is bound to involve a great deal of thought and work which may be monotonous, and will leave little leisure for a house-wife — but what are we out for? To live for ourselves, or to live for others? The making of a home and all the necessary work it involves is more important than pursuing our intellectual desires — and the work is necessary, because the average man cannot afford to have the laundry and sewing done outside — and supposing he could afford to buy most of his food ready cooked it would probably not be so nourishing as good food well cooked at home. It is better to make a good, plain pudding at home, than buy one from the bakery and spend the time saved in reading.

To live in "The world of books and music and friendship" would be delightful and could easily be accomplished if one were single — but a home and husband and children demand a great deal of one's time, and the delightful world of books etc. must be relegated to a secondary place …… it is all a question of values.

Domestic problems have been partially solved by early rising, thinking ahead, and being methodical — it is surprising how one can find time for reading and friendly visits, if one is methodical in one's work. A house-wife and mother must live a self-sacrificing life — and even if some of the really unnecessary work is cut out most of her time must be given to home and family. We must hold things in the right proportion — home duties must take up most of a house-wife's time — intellectual pursuits, delightful as they are, must not be allowed to interfere with our domestic duties.

Yes, all women, educated and also uneducated, may follow the Great Reformer, Christ, who "pleased not Himself".

Yours truly,

House-Wife.

[No doubt there will be wide difference of opinion as to the best means of making home-life healthy and happy. The starting point in the discussion was the present situation produced by (1) women better educated than ever before, (2) domestic help scarcer and more expensive than ever before. There is a dilemma here which it is better to face than to shun. The problem cannot be solved by ignoring the fact that interests and powers have been developed in women such as demand continued exercise, if there is to be serenity of mind. If self-sacrifice is the whole story for women, it is better not to open for them the doors of a mental life which, it must be confessed, exists for its own inherent value. If the education of women is a good thing, then it is worth while to consider how domestic life can be ordered so as to make it easier for women to be serene in mind. The atrophy of vital interests is a loss not only to the woman herself but to her home and to the community, and cannot be upheld as an ideal. I entirely agree with Housewife that the margin of time left for such interests can never become more than a margin. But that only increases the urgency of making the very most of it, and even of stealing a little extra from the jam.

M. A. F.]